day 2 of commitment

I have to be honest. Its not going good. Today hasn't been a good day at all. I want you to know that I struggled. but not struggled, I sinned. Purposely and with thought. I immediately felt guilty. The problem is that I am tired of this cycle. I read something today that might help you as you continue on journey. Before you read this, I don't want you to mistake this as permission to sin. I want you to know that this is just to let you know that when we do sin, God still loves us. I think its hard to imagine that he is not surprised by our sin as much as we are. Its from a blog by Steven Furtick, Pastor of Elevation. I'm thinking I am just going to put a link, but I want to makes some comments. http://www.stevenfurtick.com/spiritual-growth/signs-you-still-dont-get-it/  
1. God's past faithfulness and power is a a testament to his present faithfulness and power..Remember Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and forever.
2. 1. You still feel unworthy to come to God when you fail.

You sin and think there needs to be a grace period before you can pray for forgiveness. You completely blow it and think there’s no way God can use you again. Your days are done. Your destiny disqualified. Might as well sit around and sulk in your self-condemnation.

This really comes down to one thing: you still don’t understand grace.

We often think the grace of God is just a commodity to get us to the point of salvation. But we don’t understand that the same grace that brought us to the point of salvation is also with us in our daily lives. The same power that raised you from the grave of your sin is the same power that raises you from the mistakes of your everyday life.(this is from steven furtick's blog.)

My comment on this is that we are unworthy. I don't really think its because we feel that Christ is unworthy. I think I understand that Christ makes me worthy because he is worthy. My problem is that I know God has given me power to overcome sin in my life. I feel guilty because I don't. I feel like I'm playing this game with God, like I'm taking advantage of his grace.  I understand that God can use me. I understand that my days are not done. I understand that Christ has imparted unto me, grace and that cannot be take away. I also understand that I cannot continue living in the flesh and expect God's power on my life. My sin is hindering me. Its making me a weak, lame Christian. I am ineffective. I don't want to be that way anymore. So remember balance in this. Yes, God grace is available when we sin, however don't take that to mean you can continually live your life pleasing your flesh.

Ok...that seem like a lot. God does makes us worthy. His death on the cross, forever justified that. I want you to always remember that we are justified by grace, not of works lets any man should boast. That frees me to come freely before God when I sin, and ask him to forgive me and help not to sin.

I love you all

Father, 

give us the grace to take this to heart and believe in your grace in you mercy. Believe in you ability to deliver. We love you and thank you. Amen!